1. So one thing I forgot about "Tango and Cash" is that, like "Batman", it’s produced by Jon Peters and Peter Guber. However, I’m going to go one step further: I’m pretty sure it actually takes place in the same universe as “Batman.”

    Here’s how it breaks down:

    Owen (the fantabulous Michael J. Pollard) is basically the Lucius Fox to Tango and Cash, providing them with the “RV from Hell”:

    Owen explains that it’s a one of a kind “prototype” and is initially reluctant to let Tango and Cash borrow it.

    You’ll notice the mini-gun mounted on the side, reminiscent of the machine guns that pop out of the hood of the 1989 Batmobile, as seen in this awesome clip below:

    "WAAH! But Batman doesn’t kill! WAAH!" Whatever, Commie! This is the 80’s so of course he does!

    Anyway, since there is no Lucius Fox character in Tim Burton’s Batman universe and it seems highly unlikely that Bruce Wayne literally built that whole thing all by himself, I propose that the RV From Hell “prototype” Owen is working on is actually a proof of concept for an East Coast client by the name of Bruce Wayne and he’s worried that if he screws it up he’ll get paid a visit by Wayne’s pal “The Bat” who’ll drop him off a roof just like Johnny Gobs.

    One could also argue this takes place in the "Flashdance" universe as well since Tango’s sister (Teri Hatcher) dances at what seems to be the West Coast franchise of Mawbys:

    Now, the best argument against this theory (other than Peters and Guber clearly just reused concepts they liked and maybe even props and costumes from “Batman” and “Flashdance”) is that Jack Palance plays a different character in both “Batman” and “Tango & Cash” and both of those characters (SPOILER ALERT) totally die.

    As Sherlock Holmes once said: “When the probable and the possible have been ruled out and you’re still trying to prove your BS theory, only the impossible remains.”

    The way I figure it, Carl Grissom and Yves Peret are in fact twins. Maybe they’re separated at birth or one of them changed their names, either to sound more butch (Grissom) or more continental (Peret).

    But the fact is, other than their appearance, the two share a number of common traits. They both work in the same industry (crime), live in port cities (Los Angeles and Gotham), and have the same design aesthetic (insane).

    Even their deaths have an uncanny symmetry, as Grissom and Peret are both gunned down in their respective offices/bachelor pads. The trigger men are enemies Grissom and Peret set up to be arrested or killed in an unnecessarily elaborate scheme with a high risk of failure. Poetic really.

    Oh, and if you think the notion of Jack Palance playing twins in two different movies is crazy, then clearly you haven’t seen "City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold."

    Please submit all “Tango & Cash & Batman” fan fiction and artwork to: wabisabiforrobots@gmail.com. Thank you.

     
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    Bat-canon accepted
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