Mitt Romney explained his tax situation again today, because we must not have heard him right the first time.
“I am done explaining this to you guys. I went to my top-secret, subterranean vault and looked at my tax records. I paid more than 13% in taxes on all of the money the IRS knew about. It’s perfectly legal to not pay taxes on money a foreign subsidiary of your company deposits into one of your offshore accounts. I paid every last cent I owed, no more or less.
“I didn’t do anything wrong, I was never Governor of Massachusetts and I am a decorated Vietnam war hero. Here’s my message for anyone who says otherwise: Put up or shut up, b****es!”
Romney spokesperson Andrea Saul followed up with the press. “We haven’t run the numbers yet, but we believe 13% of $0 is $0. Math is the liberal’s natural enemy.”
Even in caricature, Pat Tuesday is a fox.